Naivety, Drama, and Other Related Bullshit

Warning: this is going to be a rant so if you're not in the mood, feel free not to read. I promise it won't hurt my feelings.

So if you're a member of NKAFF you may or may not have gotten a PM earlier. I was told everyone received it but I also heard from people who said they didn't receive it. I'm going on the assumption everyone did but maybe some people didn't see it yet. I won't put the link to NKAFF in this blog or the content of the PM I received because for reasons I don't understand some people think that's a violation of some inane moral code. If you got it, you know what I'm talking about. If you didn't get it, here's what you need to know so that the remainder of this blog makes sense.

NKAFF is a fan community where people post fan fiction of an adult nature. I'm one of hundreds of people who are on that site daily. There's a lot of buzz about it which trickles over to twitter where, oddly enough a lot of the same people have accounts. I received a PM today (a private message)on NKAFF that asked the recipient to stop tweeting the link to the site to the New Kids. I have a few issues with the content of the message but there's a separate thing I need to get off my chest first:

I've belonged to chatboards before. Lots of them. I ran one of the first NK chat boards on Prodigy in 1995. So I'm not exactly new to this culture. But maybe I've been wrong for the past 15 years. MY understanding is that a PM or private message is something sent privately because you don't want anyone else to see it. Stickys on the other hand are pinned messages that are important for the ENTIRE board to see. They're on the main page so everyone will notice them. Am I wrong about this? If so by all means set me straight.

After I blew up when I received this PM I heard from several friends that they all received the same message. Not all but some of their reactions were the same-why am I being accused of this? I've never tweeted the link to my story.

The misunderstanding could have been prevented VERY simply by one of the following:

PM Subject: IMPORTANT MESSAGE SENT TO ALL MEMBERS, PLEASE READ

Or a similar disclaimer within the message itself. Or with a simple greeting such as "Dear Members,". there was none of this. In fact there was no greeting at all.

As it was, there was no such message so I assumed it was sent directly to me since it was sent PRIVATELY. The tone of the message, in my perception, was accusatory. So I felt the need to respond-strongly. Here's what I wrote:


I've never tweeted the link to my story on this site to any of the guys or as a general tweet. I've had people ask me specifically for the link to nkaff and I've tweeted that to them as an @reply.

I have a blog where the guys can read my story if they're that interested (which for the record they're not) and I've never tweeted the link to this site to any of the guys. This is something I've discussed ad nauseum with several of the moderators on this board the last time I was accused of this and I didn't do it then either. Other people have been tweeting the link to my story and to the board in general, but you won't see it on my timeline.

People need to understand that they take a risk by posting something attached to their name on this site. Of course there's a possibility that one of them may join. All you have to do is google NKOTB fan fiction and the site comes up! Anyone can create a fake ID/email address and join this site including the guys. We know that they've done it with other FF sites in the past. If they're that worried about it they need to consider whether they want to post their things or simply send them out as emails to their friends.

Frankly I'm tired of the drama related to being involved in this site and may very well pull my story all together if I'm accused of this again.


Here are the major and most important points as far as my concerns with the content of this message:

1) The way things are communicated are more important than the message itself in terms of how people receive them

2) Don't be stupid about the internet. ANYONE can create an ID and join a chat forum. There isn't some magical fairy dust that's sprinkled on someone's screenname that shouts "hey, I'm Donnie Wahlberg and I've joined your site." If you're embarrassed by your own writing DON'T FUCKING PUT IT ON THE INTERNET!!! If you're worried someone might see it, don't put it out in cyberspace where anyone with a fake name and an email address can see it. The fact is these people want to have it both ways. They want the attention, pats on the back, kudos, comments, and other positive reinforcement they get by putting their stories online. But they also want to control their audience. Sorry, kids, but you cannot do that on a chat board. Create a blog, send the content by email to people you can trust, but don't put it on a chatboard that anyone can join.

3) If you're naive enough to think that telling people not to tweet the story is going to keep them from finding other ways to get the guys the link you are ONLY kidding yourself.

4) Don't fucking tell me what I can and can't do with (1) my twitter account and (2) my creative voice. I'm an adult and I live in a country where freedom of speech is inherent to who I am. If that makes you worried something you've put on display might be seen by someone you don't want to see it, you have a choice to make. Not me.



So that message/miscommunication aside, I've had other concerns the past few days regarding NKAFF in general...Not the people who run it. I respect them and consider many of them friends. I'm just displeased with the general attitude of some of its more vocal members. I'm also not too happy with people too scared (embarrassed, or whatever)to join the site who ask their friends to cut and paste my story into word files or emails and then spread them around to all their other little chickenshit friends. Grow a pair and join the site if you want to read it. If you want a copy of the whole thing, let me know and I'll email you a PDF when I'm finished. With MY name as the author, not yours or your chickenshit friend's.

I don't want to take my story down-for the same reason I imagine the girls who are ashamed of their own work on some level don't want to take theirs down-as a writer, I thrive on the feedback I receive. It means the world to me. Before I posted my story I was in a rut. I was down on myself as a writer and ready to give up the career. I've had very limited success in the past with publication (for those who have asked, yes, I am a published novelist in the real world) and my most recent attempt at traditional publication was proving frustrating. I was ready to throw in the towel.

Posting my fan fiction story changed all that.

Then the drama started.

If you were a member of the first fan fiction community I posted on you already know. If you weren't it doesn't matter because that group doesn't exist anymore. I was hoping this new board would be drama free. It hasn't been.

And now I've spent an hour writing this blog that I could have spent working on TSQ...which I've been a lot of time on instead of my publishable work. Which begs the question why am I bothering anyway?