A wise Wahlberg once said...

“When people try to put you down, it’s because they themselves are weak.”

So yesterday was…fun?

If you missed the drama here are the Cliff’s (Riddlah’s?) Notes. And for the record, I’m not posting this to talk shit or start more drama. I keep getting asked “what happened to The Pact?” and at this point I’m wearing myself down by reliving it 581 times. Soooo I’m only going to do this one last time. K?

An accusation was made that I had plagiarized the Jonathan chapter of The Pact. It was taken down temporarily to be investigated. The mods felt that was the best way to handle it at the time, and it’s their decision so I have to respect that. I think it goes against the whole “innocent until proven guilty” philosophy, but under stress that bordered on duress, I understand the decision. Really, I don’t fault them for this at all.

The mods don’t have an easy job. There are constantly people trying to start shit on the Board. I know because I see some of it on my timeline. And every time I thank G-d I am not a moderator on a damn fan fiction board. Because really? There are more important things to worry about than someone criticizing the way you virtually fuck a New Kid. At least in my world.

I just quit my second job to focus on my writing. If I’m going to be stressed, I damn well better be getting paid for it. My home time and hobby-writing should be my happy place. That’s why I did this during NaNoWriMo. It’s recreational. And if it feels like my own personal hell, I’m not going to spend my free time doing it. Besides I'm Jewish. We don't believe in hell, personal or otherwise.

Anyway, an investigation took place and it was determined that my story is not plagiarized (shocking to those of you who read this blog and those who have read my stories, I’m sure.) Unfortunately, in the process of putting The Pact back on the board, the thread was accidentally deleted. It was a stressful situation for the people who got dragged into this and totally understandable. One wrong button click and there was no coming back from it.

So here we are. And I find myself faced with a dilemma.

You see, I promised myself the last time there was drama involving TSQ that if there was any further drama I would walk away from NKAFF for good and find a new home for my work.

The problem is, in addition to the wise Wahlberg I have lip-licking naughtiness in my ear, I also have my other musical idol, Bono who reminds us not to “let the bastards drag you down.”

I’m nothing if not a fighter for the things I believe in. Right now it looks like my story was taken down because I’m a story thief. And for the people who don’t follow me on Twitter or read my blog, they’ll never hear my voice in this. I know it’s “just fan fiction,” but that’s not the kind of legacy I want to leave.

The only proof I’ll ever have that I was vindicated in this situation is if I repost my story on NKAFF and it doesn’t get taken down by the mods. They’re not going to discuss it on the forum openly because that will just stir people up again.

I think, at the core, this situation stemmed from jealousy because, frankly you guys rock my fucking socks with your comments and tweets and thread hits and everything else. I still don’t believe it’s real most of the time. And I think envy-green is an ugly color on all of us when we experience it. I know it’s ugly on me.

I'm not here to talk shit about the person responsible for this. I will NOT say who it is, so if you've asked, please stop. I'm just sad that she picked drama and attention-seeking histrionics (her word, not mine) over our friendship.

So I’m still trying to decide “where do I go from here?” I really don't know what is best-the NKAFF board, a blog, another board? Any thoughts? :::see this is where you leave comments on the blog to prove that people will actually comment on a blog if that's how I decide to move forward with this:::

Don't doubt I WILL be reposting The Pact somewhere. And I'll be doing it very soon (not Wahlberg soon.) I wrote this story for my readers in thanks for all the inspiration and motivation you gave me this summer when I wanted to give up.

I don’t want to give up anymore.

And I want to give you this story. Because, if nothing else, the support I’ve had in the last twenty for hours has been unbelievable. A couple of you know the emotional state I was in when I heard this news. I was preparing for a speaking engagement at the time which is not my favorite part of my job by any stretch of the imagination. Your comments got me through this. So thank you for that as well.

Thank you for sticking with me, for believing in me and for just being the incredible people you are. And hang tough. The party and The Pact WILL continue.